Silly,
Sexy,
Fun.
check out my latest creations
Clear silicone deserves to be shown off. Admired. Pondered, even. A good dildo lights up your day, so why not your room? Funkit Toys' Dick Lights are designed to fit any of Funkit's modular clear silicone toys, with the base slotting perfectly into the top of the candilabra (that’s not a typo).
6 foot USB cable with switch, US wall adapter included.
3D-printed in ABS and assembled with a cool white LED light.
FEED ME SEYMOUR.
Aloe Virile is a plant dildo that gives you the power to decide how thick it is based on how many leaves you use. It has an ample flared pot, variegated leaves, lovingly-rendered topsoil, and perhaps most importantly, it's completely unkillable even by you or me. It's also very fun to shake or grab by the bulb tip and spin the leaves around. It is a very tricky toy to color, so each one will come out a bit differently!
This is a particularly unusual toy, so you might have questions! Here are the most common ones:
Q: Isn't that hard to clean?
A: It takes about a minute! It's as easy as washing your hands. Well, as easy as washing your hands correctly.
Q: Is it hard to put in?
A: It's certainly not as easy as a standard one-piece dildo, but with adequate lube it goes in and stays together in there. It's easier vaginally than anally to be sure, but with enough lube and warmup all things are possible. The shape of the toy gives the leaves a few places to hold to, and being surrounded by an orifice has a tendency to keep things from splaying out. The leaves do slide, which provides an interesting sensation, but they slide back just as easily. If you still have trouble, a condom over the leaves you want to use can help while maintaining a wiggly sensation, and having a partner help you with it is a hot way to get more hands on the task!
Q: What is this?
A: If you have to ask, don't worry about it. Also, how did you skip the description and the first two questions?
Q: What are its measurements and properties?
A: Usable length: 196mm, 7 23/32nd inches.
Min Circumference: 94mm, 3.71 inches.
Max Circumference: 179mm, 7 1/20th inches
Material/Firmness: Platinum silicone, Shore 0050. Medium squishy.
Finally, a serious impact toy for unserious people! It's a fish you hit people with. Like Monty Python or the Muppet Show, but vegan! And odorless. And you don't need a new one every time. Really, the cost savings alone are tremendous.
This silicone fish paddle is as much fun to swing as it is to look at. or be hit with. Or watch someone be hit with in an elaborate market/fishing boat roleplay. Can be turned around to mount on your wall without the logo facing out. The head is thuddier, the tail is stingier, and you can hold it anywhere. Cover it in water-based lube for an extra-realistic experience!
It comes in three sizes:
The Smackerel is a smaller, slappier fish for your lighter impact needs. Travel in comfort with the knowledge that you can slap anyone, anytime, anywhere. With consent, of course.
—> 290 mm long (or 11.5 inches in Bad Numbers)
The Slammin' is a goldilocks medium-sized fish paddle, for with to hit people.
—> Head to tail: 44.2 cm, 17.4 in, belly to fin: 8.5 cm, 3.33 in, gill to gill: 2.53 cm, 1 in.
—> Weighs nearly a pound.
The One That Got Away is a big fucker. You almost had 'im, too.
—> 23.25 inches long or 59 cm.
—> 950 g of silicone, or just over 2 pounds. Yeesh, that'll leave a mark.
The Smackerel and The Slammin' are available in a firm shore 20A, which is a bit easier to swing without practice, and all three fish are available in floppy 0050, which is a bit funnier.
Silly toys.
Serious standards.
Created with care so you can relax and have fun.
What funkit is all about
Funkit Toys specializes in three categories: one-of a kind, beautiful fuckable sculptures; safe, budget-friendly dildos; and silly, unforgettable objects that put the toy in sex toy. From swirls of color in clear silicone, to $24 reasonably-sized dildos, to a 2-pound swingable fish paddle, Funkit Toys has something for almost anyone who likes fun. Want to see more? Shop now